Two weeks ago I received some of the best news of my life. My friend Shelley had been enduring chemotherapy for 4 months, then had major surgery to remove any "leftover" cancer. On January 5, she was told there was no cancer in the tissue they had removed, or the lymph nodes. For me, a friend in a different time zone who found out in a Facebook post, this was indeed great news--it ranks in my life with "Will you marry me?" "It's a girl!" and "It's a boy!" in terms of being life-changing, transformational news.
The next morning I sang Matins, Psalm 95: "Let us come before God's presence with thanksgiving and raise a loud shout to the Lord with psalms." The significance of "thanksgiving" rattled my bones as I prayed--indeed, I am thankful in a new way for this new life for Shelley and for our relationship. It's so much more than appreciation or relief, though they are both part of the experience. It is deep, deep gratitude that God knows each cell of our bodies, even the cancerous ones, and that God desires wholeness for us, body, mind, and soul. It's a "come to Jesus" moment in which I realize I never really can return the favor or pay God back in any way, not even close. This is a gift in the truest sense, no occasion or persuasion or expectation of return.
The feelings I have around this are not polite--"Remember to say 'Thank you'". These feelings are intense and hard and sure and deep, and a little scary. This isn't just "something I picked up for you" kind of gift, but a gift that has changed the way I think about the world and my, and Shelley's, place in it.
I am very thankful, to God, for Shelley. And, as the psalmist suggests, I think I may have shouted!
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